You win David Warneke! Please read his hilarious story below:
What is your best taco bill story?
I’m a thin man with a small stomach. Always have been. At 26 years old, right now I still only weigh 52 kilos, which if converting to the old scale is… not enough. Growing up I didn’t eat very much. Mum was always trying to get me to eat “just one more mouthful.”
Amazingly, I made it to adulthood without ever finishing a meal at a restaurant. There was always something left on my plate, and often that something was half a meal. Hundreds of times I had embarrassingly asked the waiter for a ‘doggy bag’ or sent food back to the kitchen, probably offending the chef when really, the reality is I’ve just got a small stomach.
That was until about 5 years when my parents met my new girlfriend for the first time. We chose to eat at a restaurant in between our two houses, it happened to be Taco Bill in Templestowe Victoria. I had no idea my life was about to change.
I ordered the Quesadilla de la Casa, and I couldn’t believe how good it tasted. I went silent and just started eating mouthful after mouthful of the tortilla wrapped around the hot beany goodness, leaving my girlfriend to fend off my parents’ questions… Luckily she did okay as I stuffed my face, each bite complimented by the guacamole and sour cream.
I started to see more and more of the white plate that only seconds earlier the friendly waiter had told me to be careful with as it was very hot. I was closing in what we all thought impossible… Me actually finishing a meal.
But suddenly it all hit my stomach. I was instantly very full, snapped out of my beanie pleasure by the reality of falling short again. Everyone at the table noticed that I only had about two mouthfuls left. I told them that whilst it was delicious it was impossible for me to finish. But then I pulled a genius move that I’d only ever seen in films… I unbuttoned the top of my jeans and suddenly I found room in my stomach for the final mouthfuls of quesadilla. I finished the meal!
My parents were so excited that they started cheering and taking photos of me with the empty plate. Needless to say my new girlfriend was very confused. The waiter came over and asked if everything was okay and being so embarrassed by the commotion made for a 21 year old man finishing a meal, I told him that it was my birthday. I thought I had defused the situation as the waiter disappeared but he returned moments later with chocolate mousse and he started singing happy birthday to me. The ENTIRE restaurant joined in and my family just had to play along. The waiter shook my hand and I was so grateful to him that I even ate the chocolate mousse. Before this night eating a meal in its entirety seemed impossible… a dessert too? Dile que está soñando (Translation: Tell ‘em he’s dreaming)
Luckily my girlfriend stuck by me and we now live together, only a few hundred metres from Taco Bill in Camberwell where I am often seen eating the Quesadilla De La Casa (now called the Quesadilla Frijoles Con Queso). These days I finish my meal. Every. Single. Time.